The choice is yours....

I was out with a new Mammy friend yesterday and the talk turned as it often does to sleeping and from there to breastfeeding when I "outed" myself as STILL feeding.  I've thought about why I feel the need to do this and have come to the conclusion that it's because I know that there are loads of closet toddler-feeders out there (ok, not loads but there are others beside me, even though it might feel very lonely most of the time) and if we don't go public then it'll always be seen by some as one step away from child-abuse.  (Persecution complex? Moi?)

Anyway, she told me she thought it was great that I was still feeding and said she lasted 4 days.  Why did she give up?  She had a section, her milk hadn't come in, she had sore nipples and she wanted to sleep.  She said this without getting anyway defensive, apologising for herself or trotting out the old "it didn't work out for me" line.   She made her choice, she was happy with it, she was happy for me that I was still feeding and that was the end of it.   She felt no need to justify herself to me for not breastfeeding or to make me feel like an alien because I was still doing it and I didn't scold her for her lack of commitment or bang on about the benefits that her child was missing out on.  In short, no-one felt accused of child abuse.  Refreshing.

I read somewhere that during the child-rearing years, we align ourselves with others who share our parenting philosophies.  I can see this happening in my own life, but does it have to mean binning the friends I have already or blackballing new ones that I have lots in common with apart from our parenting styles?  Difference of opinion on how to raise children can definitely be a cause of friction in friendships but doesn't have to threaten them.  Acceptance of these differences is key.  Caring for a child involves a million and one choices - some of them big, some of them trivial - but they are just that - choices.  If mine are different to yours, then it doesn't invalidate the ones you've made and there is no tacit criticism intended.   Don't feel the need to defend, justify or explain yourself.  I won't.  Right, I'm off to work on that myself.....