Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Double trouble

So I knew having two kids was going to be harder than having one.   But now that I'm a couple of months into it, I can't quite remember what I thought that meant.  I suppose I thought it would be hard being busy, and finding time for yourself, and that I'd possibly be exhausted from having to fall in with a newborn's sleep pattern.

But the newborn is no problem.   He is, in fact, a bit of a dream.  He sleeps.  By day, in a wrap, against my heart.  By night, beside me, now in a bedside cot.  He can sleep 2 or 3 hour stretches in the day, 7 hours or more at night.  Not every night, but enough to mean that I'm not drained because of him.  He smiles.  He goos and gaas.  When he cries, he's easily soothed. It's the toddler that's the drain.

Whining. Moaning. Complaining.  She was happy enough with the baby in the beginning, before she realised he was a person that was going to command attention from Mammy.  Lately,. her whinging has become insufferable.  I've had a day of it today and it's worn me to shreds.  Emotionally, I'm a shell. I'm relying on this one measly glass of red wine to help me piece together my shattered self.  It's times like this I wish I wasn't one of those "breastfeeders", so I could hit the bottle.  Hard.  I'll have to settle for smashing something instead. 

The US had it all wrong.   Forget waterboarding.  Just stick suspects in a room with whining toddlers and all will be relieved in record-beating time.

5 comments:

  1. I feel your pain, Logan is often the same. The whining is really difficult to take. How do you deal with Cleo when you feel this way? I try to get a minute to myself, but Logan follows me around like a forlorn puppy. I really admired your patience with Cleo when we met in the zoo; I try very hard to remain calm with Logan, and I sometimes don't manage it. Do you try to cheer Cleo up when she is complaining, or distract her?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh dear, sounds like you had a rough day! Is there any particular time of day or event that kicks off her behaviour? I always found it was when i was feeding that toddler attention demands skyrocketed.. popping a dvd on or grabbing a book and tucking them in beside me just before feeding baby would help... Invariably there would be a butt to wipe or some kind of meltdown as soon as i whipped my boob out! At least you're getting some sleep at night, my darlings never gave me that respite. In fact, Joss now 2.5 and has NEVER slept a full night through. Distraction, preparation, empathy and patience are the order of the day! To be honest, the meltdowns happen here with Joss probably just as frequently as they did with the boys at a similar age even in the absence of a newbie. At least with you baby wearing you don't have to unlatch or struggle to hold baby while dealing with Cleo... I never did find a sling that fit and held my LOs securely, so I was constantly lugging them about clutched to my boob while tackling toddler behaviour one handed. You're doing great Mel, enjoy your glass of vino, x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fiona, first of all I go the kitchen and do some birth breathing ;-) Then I normally would try to come up with something that we can do to entertain her but it was just relentless yesterday. It really seemed like there was no pleasing her. Today was a better day. I have had to break the DVDs out more times than I would like but that usually works. Just trying not to do that all the time because there have been quite a few rainy days where going outside wasn't really an option and I feel sometimes that too much of the goggle box has a negative effect on her behaviour.

    Leonora, I am very lucky in some ways - she goes down to bed easy, most nights sleeps a full 12 hours and up to the last few weeks has been a very easy child. So yes, deep breaths, get mindful and wait for it to pass :)

    I am in a Facebook group called Gentle Discipline, will post ye the link if you like :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. So sorry about your rough day, it's not easy. I'm having an issue with my six year old being jealous of the new baby but unlike yours he's extremely demanding. Thank god he sleeps well at night or I would have hit the bottle by now! Hang in there mama it will get better! (hug)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know how people cope with non-sleeping babies on top of demanding older children. It's enough to make you want to just run away!

    ReplyDelete