Protest at Facebook HQ

A group of mums and babes, including myself and C, protested today at Facebook HQ in Dublin against the deletion of photos of nursing mothers and, in some cases, suspension of their Facebook accounts.   Facebook terms of service state that photos of nursing are allowed, yet these pictures of breastfeeding were flagged as breaching Facebook's statement of "rights and responsibilities" as they contain "nudity, pornography or graphically sexual content".

I'll be honest - originally when I heard about the protest, I was disinterested.   I haven't shared any photos of myself breastfeeding on Facebook and haven't wanted to.  While I believe in the right to breastfeed wherever and whenever necessary, I didn't feel strongly about the Facebook issue.


But....isn't it normal for people to post photos of themselves feeding baby their bottle?  Mums and Dads, Grannies and Grandads all proudly taking turns for the camera while baby enjoys their grub?  Why then is it not ok to share pictures of a breastfed baby doing the same? 


Despite passionately believing in breastfeeding as a completely normal activity and never having a problem feeding C in public when she was small, I am embarrassed to do it now.  I would if a pressing need arose, but haven't for a long time.   I would rather go into a stinky toilet and feed her there than have others look at me disapprovingly.   The thought of C getting any sense that what we are doing is in someway wrong is painful to me. 


Isn't that sad?  That we live in a society where idiots on the internet refer to feeding older children as "kiddie porn"?   That my awareness of that, despite my generally assertive personality, leads me to go to where people take a dump to feed my toddler?


So that's why I took part today.   Breastfeeding is normal and natural.  It is a part of family life.   Societal attitudes need to change so that mothers feeding their babies the natural way in public are as relaxed as those feeding their babies with bottles.  Facebook's removal of breastfeeding photos that in no way contravene their terms of service just feeds into a widely held perception of breastfeeding as something that is in some way wrong, dirty or sexual, that should be done behind closed doors or under cover of some ridiculous custom-made apron.   It's not "pornographic or sexual", Facebook - it's just a baby chowing down.

Coping with a newborn - all about expectations

I was reminded today of this article which talks about, among other things, why it's normal newborn behaviour to sleep more during the day than at night.  

A new mother in crisis (her post was titled "I don't think I can cope"), posted on one of the pregnancy and baby websites, saying that her 2 week old baby doesn't sleep at all at night.   She is exhausted.  She is up all night on her own, feeding bottles, until the baby goes to sleep around 7am.  Her newborn then goes to sleep and sleeps for most of the day, according to the description.   Her question is "am I asking too much of her, or what?"

Well, yes.  When I first read the post I was really sympathetic and congratulated myself on having a baby who did her long sleeps at night from the beginning.   Then I read back on the post - the baby sleeps till 2am and is awake on and off till 7am - pretty much the same as C was in the early weeks.  I thought it was fantastic that C would sleep from 10 to 2 and then again from 7 to 11 - two four hour blocks of sleep in a night!!


It's all about expectation, isn't it?   It's much easier if you just accept matters and go to sleep in the day when your baby does, but many of us have been conditioned by an Irish society that values being a good sleeper above all other qualities in a newborn to think that there's something awry.

Funnily enough, just after I wrote this, the Analytical Armadillo did a new post which puts it all way better than I ever could :)

Why are we even talking about this stuff?

It seems like there's been a perfect storm of anti-breastfeeding feeling swirling about over the past week or so.  First was Niamh from The Mama's Hip appearing on Four Live on RTE on January 9th, where a photo from her blog of her tandem feeding her 3 1/2 year old and her baby provoked a fairly predictable response from viewers.  What was obvious was that Maura Derrane agreed with the "offended" woman who sent in a comment referring to Niamh as "disgusting".  What was really offensive and disgusting was Maura reading out said comment live on air.  But hey, when your guest is a perverted long term breastfeeder, it's obviously ok to insult them.


Next came reports on Wednesday that breastfed babies are a pain in the ass compared to formula fed babies.  They cry more, smile and laugh less and are generally more troublesome.  This of course provokes me to say "But my baby was the smiliest, laughiest, least troublesome...." but seeing as I dismiss anecdotal evidence as irrelevant, that cuts no ice even with me.  What was interesting about how the report was framed in the media was that at least reference was made to breastfeeding being the norm, therefore breastfed baby behaviour was the norm.  


Funniest comment I saw on the web in relation to this article:  "the research clearly indicates bottle feeding comes out better in certain areas yet the researchers themselves and all the commenters slam it. Very irrational. To me, all this says, is that the gap between breastfeeding and modern formula is probably very close."  Ha ha!  Yep, you're right.  Having a baby that you consider to be "easier" at three months is a hugely important benefit - why, forget breastmilk and its protective effect against a whole host of illnesses, not to mention SIDS - this formula stuff makes 'em smile more?  Sure, that's just as good!


Then came this article on the Telegraph blog.   Don't read it if your blood pressure goes up when you encounter mindless anti-breastfeeding rubbish.  It's highly inflammatory which I think is the point.  'Course, the writer has links to the baby food industry.....you can read more about it on the Analytical Armadillo, if you really want to give the heart a good workout.


So we've all been up in arms defending breastfeeding here, there and everywhere over the past week.  D'ya know what?  I can't be arsed dealing with ignorance and misinformation anymore (be interesting to see how long this lasts.  My blood was boiling after some tool commenting on The Mama's Hip called home birth "the most selfish thing" anyone could do.  Really?  Oh yeah, you're right - I mean snorting coke while pregnant doesn't even come close!).  Some of these people seem so entrenched in their views and determined to view any attempt to educate as akin to holding guns to people's heads to make them breastfeed.    And I think others just know it's a topic that gets people all het up and use it for a bit of amusement and entertainment.   


But what really hit me this week was the sheer absurdity of all of it.   This level of hysteria over the normal way of feeding a baby?  I imagine telling some of the women I met in Latin America about all of this - they'd think we were nuts.  And they'd be right. 










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The choice is yours....

I was out with a new Mammy friend yesterday and the talk turned as it often does to sleeping and from there to breastfeeding when I "outed" myself as STILL feeding.  I've thought about why I feel the need to do this and have come to the conclusion that it's because I know that there are loads of closet toddler-feeders out there (ok, not loads but there are others beside me, even though it might feel very lonely most of the time) and if we don't go public then it'll always be seen by some as one step away from child-abuse.  (Persecution complex? Moi?)

Anyway, she told me she thought it was great that I was still feeding and said she lasted 4 days.  Why did she give up?  She had a section, her milk hadn't come in, she had sore nipples and she wanted to sleep.  She said this without getting anyway defensive, apologising for herself or trotting out the old "it didn't work out for me" line.   She made her choice, she was happy with it, she was happy for me that I was still feeding and that was the end of it.   She felt no need to justify herself to me for not breastfeeding or to make me feel like an alien because I was still doing it and I didn't scold her for her lack of commitment or bang on about the benefits that her child was missing out on.  In short, no-one felt accused of child abuse.  Refreshing.

I read somewhere that during the child-rearing years, we align ourselves with others who share our parenting philosophies.  I can see this happening in my own life, but does it have to mean binning the friends I have already or blackballing new ones that I have lots in common with apart from our parenting styles?  Difference of opinion on how to raise children can definitely be a cause of friction in friendships but doesn't have to threaten them.  Acceptance of these differences is key.  Caring for a child involves a million and one choices - some of them big, some of them trivial - but they are just that - choices.  If mine are different to yours, then it doesn't invalidate the ones you've made and there is no tacit criticism intended.   Don't feel the need to defend, justify or explain yourself.  I won't.  Right, I'm off to work on that myself.....

Banana "flapjacks"

Haven't posted in an age so thought I would get things going again with a handy little recipe for those of you who don't like giving Liga or rusks as a snack and resent paying Organix prices for something a little more nutritious.  These are super easy, healthy and handy for a between meals pick-me-up either at home or on the move for babies, toddlers and mammies trying to be good!


You will need:

2 - 3 small bananas 1 cup chopped prunes  (or other dried fruit such as dates, apricots, raisins or a mixture) 2 cups oats 80ml vegetable or sunflower oil 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1. Mash the bananas in a large bowl. 2. Add the dried fruit and oil to the bananas and mix together. 3. Stir in the oats and the vanilla essence and leave for 5 mins for the oats to absorb the oil. 4. Spoon the mixture into a well greased baking tray and bake at 175C or gas mark 5 for about 25 minutes. 5. Cut into squares while still warm.

Voila!  An oaty flapjacky bar thing that costs a fraction of what you'd pay in the supermarket and tastes just as good.

Super fast falafel

Another quick and easy little recipe from the BBC Good Food site.   Home made falafel in 15 minutes and so much nicer than anything you would buy, unless you live somewhere very posh indeed.

I'd no salsa and couldn't be bothered making one so subsituted sliced tomatoes and livened the whole thing up with some mango salsa which was totally delish.  They're low fat and healthy although eating several filled pitta breads might require a calorie per portion recalculation.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/5605/falafel-burgers

A surprisingly tasty couscous salad

For most of C's first year, I had lunch out a couple of times a week, meeting various friends and family.  However, since she became a toddler, getting out for lunch is a rarity, for a few reasons.   Top of the list is that she can't sit still for more than about 15 seconds unless it's breakfast or dinner time.  She also naps from 12 - 2 which makes meeting people more difficult.  Plus since PermanentTSB decided we weren't paying enough mortgage interest on our drastically devalued house, there really isn't the cash floating around to pay for ciabattas and lattes that often.


Apart from dinner, my daily diet has seemed to consist of little more than porridge, fruit and toast (plus a mountain of chocolate) for the past couple of months so this week I decided to get a bit more proactive and root out some tasty looking lunch recipes that didn't take too long to make.


So I tried this yesterday and it couldn't have been better.   Takes 10 minutes to make and it kind of tastes like summer, especially when the sun obliges and you can eat al fresco.   Enjoy!

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/11690/10minute-couscous-salad