Jammy badgers

.....that's what my 2 1/2 year old was calling these yummy Jammy Dodgers we created this afternoon...

They are simple shortcake biscuits with the centre cut out, then sandwiched together with delicious raspberry jam once cooked and cooled.

You will need:

125g of unsalted butter, softened
60g caster sugar, plus extra for dusting
125g plain flour, plus extra for dusting
60g semolina
Jam ( raspberry or strawberry.....or be adventurous!)


Line a baking tray with baking paper.

Beat the butter and sugar together until fluffy, either by hand if you're feeling energetic or have help, or in a food processer.  Then sift in both flours and combine until it comes together in a ball.  Lightly dust the work surface with flour and roll out to .5cm thick.  Try not to overwork the dough, although if you have an enthusiastic assistant, this is a tad difficult.

Using whatever shape cutter you like, cut out shapes.  You can use the same shape for each or vary them if you like, as long as you have even numbers of each. Put half of the shapes on your baking tray, then cut a piece out of the centre of your other half. Sprinkle these ones with caster sugar and place on the tray.

Chill for 15 minutes or so to firm up the dough.  Preheat the oven to 180C.

Once the biscuits have been chilled, bake them for 12 - 15 minutes or until they are a pale golden colour.  Remove from the oven and let them cool completely.

Spread the jam on the solid biscuits, leaving a 1cm border around the edge.  Again, could be difficult with an assistant. Then sandwich the biscuits with the centre cut out on top, sugar side up.  Viola!  Yummy scrummy jammy badgers.

Apparently the biscuits keep for a week.  We've eaten all ours so can't verify that.

Hot and cold

I'm a huge fan of natural hot springs and visited quite a few while travelling.  At one place, the aptly named Baños in Equador, the hot springs are the focal point of the town social life.  So as well as tourists who've come to relax, you find the locals of all ages hanging out.  Staring is perfectly acceptable, perhaps even obligatory, so it's a great place for people watching.  One of the pools is hot rather than warm. Think a hot bath.  It sits right next to a pool that's so cold (you're in the Andes), if you stay there for more than a couple of minutes, you start to lose all feeling in your body.  That's where I first discovered the amazing rush you get from going from hot to cold, and back.  First you get all lobster like in the warm pool.  Next, you get into the cold pool, with a bit of an involuntary whoop.  You get accustomed to the temperature, then before you go unconscious, get yourself back to the warm pool and wow......the natural high is incredible.   The same principle as a roll around in the snow after a sauna, I suppose.  


To replicate this at home, if you have a separate bath and shower fill the bath with either very hot or cold water, then jump between the two.   My shower is in the bath so I just alternate the shower between the two temperature extremes.  It works well enough that I have a huge grin on my face from the natural endorphins.  You can finish on either a hot or a cold round, whichever you prefer. 


Does it sound a bit crazy to you?  Even so, you should try it.  Next time you're feeling a bit flat, or stressed, or low, give it a go.  You've got to be brave enough to stay in the cold for as long as you can bear.  I find concentrating the cold shower on the back of your neck really gets you yelping.  Then the bliss when you turn on the warm water and feel the heat moving through your body again.  It never fails to make me laugh.


Some other ideas for creating natural endorphins if you're too wussy for this :)

http://suite101.com/article/how-to-achieve-a-natural-high-everyday-with-endorphins-a403298

Do it!

When we had the "big snow" a couple of years ago, we did this using the hot bath and the snow in our back garden.   Giddiest moment I can remember in recent times. My husband started a snowball fight.  He lost after I threatened his snowballs with snowballs.

Double trouble

So I knew having two kids was going to be harder than having one.   But now that I'm a couple of months into it, I can't quite remember what I thought that meant.  I suppose I thought it would be hard being busy, and finding time for yourself, and that I'd possibly be exhausted from having to fall in with a newborn's sleep pattern.

But the newborn is no problem.   He is, in fact, a bit of a dream.  He sleeps.  By day, in a wrap, against my heart.  By night, beside me, now in a bedside cot.  He can sleep 2 or 3 hour stretches in the day, 7 hours or more at night.  Not every night, but enough to mean that I'm not drained because of him.  He smiles.  He goos and gaas.  When he cries, he's easily soothed. It's the toddler that's the drain.

Whining. Moaning. Complaining.  She was happy enough with the baby in the beginning, before she realised he was a person that was going to command attention from Mammy.  Lately,. her whinging has become insufferable.  I've had a day of it today and it's worn me to shreds.  Emotionally, I'm a shell. I'm relying on this one measly glass of red wine to help me piece together my shattered self.  It's times like this I wish I wasn't one of those "breastfeeders", so I could hit the bottle.  Hard.  I'll have to settle for smashing something instead. 

The US had it all wrong.   Forget waterboarding.  Just stick suspects in a room with whining toddlers and all will be relieved in record-beating time.

Protest at Facebook HQ

A group of mums and babes, including myself and C, protested today at Facebook HQ in Dublin against the deletion of photos of nursing mothers and, in some cases, suspension of their Facebook accounts.   Facebook terms of service state that photos of nursing are allowed, yet these pictures of breastfeeding were flagged as breaching Facebook's statement of "rights and responsibilities" as they contain "nudity, pornography or graphically sexual content".

I'll be honest - originally when I heard about the protest, I was disinterested.   I haven't shared any photos of myself breastfeeding on Facebook and haven't wanted to.  While I believe in the right to breastfeed wherever and whenever necessary, I didn't feel strongly about the Facebook issue.


But....isn't it normal for people to post photos of themselves feeding baby their bottle?  Mums and Dads, Grannies and Grandads all proudly taking turns for the camera while baby enjoys their grub?  Why then is it not ok to share pictures of a breastfed baby doing the same? 


Despite passionately believing in breastfeeding as a completely normal activity and never having a problem feeding C in public when she was small, I am embarrassed to do it now.  I would if a pressing need arose, but haven't for a long time.   I would rather go into a stinky toilet and feed her there than have others look at me disapprovingly.   The thought of C getting any sense that what we are doing is in someway wrong is painful to me. 


Isn't that sad?  That we live in a society where idiots on the internet refer to feeding older children as "kiddie porn"?   That my awareness of that, despite my generally assertive personality, leads me to go to where people take a dump to feed my toddler?


So that's why I took part today.   Breastfeeding is normal and natural.  It is a part of family life.   Societal attitudes need to change so that mothers feeding their babies the natural way in public are as relaxed as those feeding their babies with bottles.  Facebook's removal of breastfeeding photos that in no way contravene their terms of service just feeds into a widely held perception of breastfeeding as something that is in some way wrong, dirty or sexual, that should be done behind closed doors or under cover of some ridiculous custom-made apron.   It's not "pornographic or sexual", Facebook - it's just a baby chowing down.

Coping with a newborn - all about expectations

I was reminded today of this article which talks about, among other things, why it's normal newborn behaviour to sleep more during the day than at night.  

A new mother in crisis (her post was titled "I don't think I can cope"), posted on one of the pregnancy and baby websites, saying that her 2 week old baby doesn't sleep at all at night.   She is exhausted.  She is up all night on her own, feeding bottles, until the baby goes to sleep around 7am.  Her newborn then goes to sleep and sleeps for most of the day, according to the description.   Her question is "am I asking too much of her, or what?"

Well, yes.  When I first read the post I was really sympathetic and congratulated myself on having a baby who did her long sleeps at night from the beginning.   Then I read back on the post - the baby sleeps till 2am and is awake on and off till 7am - pretty much the same as C was in the early weeks.  I thought it was fantastic that C would sleep from 10 to 2 and then again from 7 to 11 - two four hour blocks of sleep in a night!!


It's all about expectation, isn't it?   It's much easier if you just accept matters and go to sleep in the day when your baby does, but many of us have been conditioned by an Irish society that values being a good sleeper above all other qualities in a newborn to think that there's something awry.

Funnily enough, just after I wrote this, the Analytical Armadillo did a new post which puts it all way better than I ever could :)

Why are we even talking about this stuff?

It seems like there's been a perfect storm of anti-breastfeeding feeling swirling about over the past week or so.  First was Niamh from The Mama's Hip appearing on Four Live on RTE on January 9th, where a photo from her blog of her tandem feeding her 3 1/2 year old and her baby provoked a fairly predictable response from viewers.  What was obvious was that Maura Derrane agreed with the "offended" woman who sent in a comment referring to Niamh as "disgusting".  What was really offensive and disgusting was Maura reading out said comment live on air.  But hey, when your guest is a perverted long term breastfeeder, it's obviously ok to insult them.


Next came reports on Wednesday that breastfed babies are a pain in the ass compared to formula fed babies.  They cry more, smile and laugh less and are generally more troublesome.  This of course provokes me to say "But my baby was the smiliest, laughiest, least troublesome...." but seeing as I dismiss anecdotal evidence as irrelevant, that cuts no ice even with me.  What was interesting about how the report was framed in the media was that at least reference was made to breastfeeding being the norm, therefore breastfed baby behaviour was the norm.  


Funniest comment I saw on the web in relation to this article:  "the research clearly indicates bottle feeding comes out better in certain areas yet the researchers themselves and all the commenters slam it. Very irrational. To me, all this says, is that the gap between breastfeeding and modern formula is probably very close."  Ha ha!  Yep, you're right.  Having a baby that you consider to be "easier" at three months is a hugely important benefit - why, forget breastmilk and its protective effect against a whole host of illnesses, not to mention SIDS - this formula stuff makes 'em smile more?  Sure, that's just as good!


Then came this article on the Telegraph blog.   Don't read it if your blood pressure goes up when you encounter mindless anti-breastfeeding rubbish.  It's highly inflammatory which I think is the point.  'Course, the writer has links to the baby food industry.....you can read more about it on the Analytical Armadillo, if you really want to give the heart a good workout.


So we've all been up in arms defending breastfeeding here, there and everywhere over the past week.  D'ya know what?  I can't be arsed dealing with ignorance and misinformation anymore (be interesting to see how long this lasts.  My blood was boiling after some tool commenting on The Mama's Hip called home birth "the most selfish thing" anyone could do.  Really?  Oh yeah, you're right - I mean snorting coke while pregnant doesn't even come close!).  Some of these people seem so entrenched in their views and determined to view any attempt to educate as akin to holding guns to people's heads to make them breastfeed.    And I think others just know it's a topic that gets people all het up and use it for a bit of amusement and entertainment.   


But what really hit me this week was the sheer absurdity of all of it.   This level of hysteria over the normal way of feeding a baby?  I imagine telling some of the women I met in Latin America about all of this - they'd think we were nuts.  And they'd be right. 










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The choice is yours....

I was out with a new Mammy friend yesterday and the talk turned as it often does to sleeping and from there to breastfeeding when I "outed" myself as STILL feeding.  I've thought about why I feel the need to do this and have come to the conclusion that it's because I know that there are loads of closet toddler-feeders out there (ok, not loads but there are others beside me, even though it might feel very lonely most of the time) and if we don't go public then it'll always be seen by some as one step away from child-abuse.  (Persecution complex? Moi?)

Anyway, she told me she thought it was great that I was still feeding and said she lasted 4 days.  Why did she give up?  She had a section, her milk hadn't come in, she had sore nipples and she wanted to sleep.  She said this without getting anyway defensive, apologising for herself or trotting out the old "it didn't work out for me" line.   She made her choice, she was happy with it, she was happy for me that I was still feeding and that was the end of it.   She felt no need to justify herself to me for not breastfeeding or to make me feel like an alien because I was still doing it and I didn't scold her for her lack of commitment or bang on about the benefits that her child was missing out on.  In short, no-one felt accused of child abuse.  Refreshing.

I read somewhere that during the child-rearing years, we align ourselves with others who share our parenting philosophies.  I can see this happening in my own life, but does it have to mean binning the friends I have already or blackballing new ones that I have lots in common with apart from our parenting styles?  Difference of opinion on how to raise children can definitely be a cause of friction in friendships but doesn't have to threaten them.  Acceptance of these differences is key.  Caring for a child involves a million and one choices - some of them big, some of them trivial - but they are just that - choices.  If mine are different to yours, then it doesn't invalidate the ones you've made and there is no tacit criticism intended.   Don't feel the need to defend, justify or explain yourself.  I won't.  Right, I'm off to work on that myself.....

Banana "flapjacks"

Haven't posted in an age so thought I would get things going again with a handy little recipe for those of you who don't like giving Liga or rusks as a snack and resent paying Organix prices for something a little more nutritious.  These are super easy, healthy and handy for a between meals pick-me-up either at home or on the move for babies, toddlers and mammies trying to be good!


You will need:

2 - 3 small bananas 1 cup chopped prunes  (or other dried fruit such as dates, apricots, raisins or a mixture) 2 cups oats 80ml vegetable or sunflower oil 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1. Mash the bananas in a large bowl. 2. Add the dried fruit and oil to the bananas and mix together. 3. Stir in the oats and the vanilla essence and leave for 5 mins for the oats to absorb the oil. 4. Spoon the mixture into a well greased baking tray and bake at 175C or gas mark 5 for about 25 minutes. 5. Cut into squares while still warm.

Voila!  An oaty flapjacky bar thing that costs a fraction of what you'd pay in the supermarket and tastes just as good.

Super fast falafel

Another quick and easy little recipe from the BBC Good Food site.   Home made falafel in 15 minutes and so much nicer than anything you would buy, unless you live somewhere very posh indeed.

I'd no salsa and couldn't be bothered making one so subsituted sliced tomatoes and livened the whole thing up with some mango salsa which was totally delish.  They're low fat and healthy although eating several filled pitta breads might require a calorie per portion recalculation.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/5605/falafel-burgers

A surprisingly tasty couscous salad

For most of C's first year, I had lunch out a couple of times a week, meeting various friends and family.  However, since she became a toddler, getting out for lunch is a rarity, for a few reasons.   Top of the list is that she can't sit still for more than about 15 seconds unless it's breakfast or dinner time.  She also naps from 12 - 2 which makes meeting people more difficult.  Plus since PermanentTSB decided we weren't paying enough mortgage interest on our drastically devalued house, there really isn't the cash floating around to pay for ciabattas and lattes that often.


Apart from dinner, my daily diet has seemed to consist of little more than porridge, fruit and toast (plus a mountain of chocolate) for the past couple of months so this week I decided to get a bit more proactive and root out some tasty looking lunch recipes that didn't take too long to make.


So I tried this yesterday and it couldn't have been better.   Takes 10 minutes to make and it kind of tastes like summer, especially when the sun obliges and you can eat al fresco.   Enjoy!

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/11690/10minute-couscous-salad

Stuff no one told you # 451 - dealing with a blocked nipple pore

This is something we'd all prefer never to have to know about, but if you are planning on breastfeeding then please read on.    A blocked nipple pore is easy to deal with if you know how but can cause major discomfort in the breast and lead on to more serious conditions such as mastitis if you don't recognise it when it starts and treat it appropriately.


The first time it happened to me was when C was six weeks old.  It was a beautiful day and we driving to Mount Usher Gardens in Wicklow.  I became aware of a hard area in my breast that I thought was a blocked duct  (when she was handing out boob blockages, Mother Nature was particularly generous to me so I already had considerably experience in the field despite my recent arrival in Mammyland).   I massaged and massaged but to no avail.  The hard area got bigger and lumpier and more and more sore.   I'm not quite sure why it dawned on me what the problem was but when we stopped for coffee I went into a toilet cubicle and searched my nipple thoroughly for the offending blockage.  Another unimaginably unglamorous moment in the life of a new mother.  


After a bit of scrabbling around in the folds of my own nipple, I located a white dot that was quite literally the troublespot.  Very relieved to find the source, I couldn't remember the treatment so decided we'd better head home and went to tell P.   As I sipped my coffee, my boob was becoming sorer by the second and so I went back to the bathroom to have another look.   I decided to give in to my urges and have a squeeze and then - whooooosh!!   The plug popped out and a torrent of milk gushed out like water out of a fire hydrant.   It kept going for over a minute as all the milk that had been backed up exploded out of the pore.   The relief was enormous and, I must admit, exhilarating (hey, I hadn't been out much that year).  So much so that it was actually worth the whole horrible experience.  I ran out of the loo to spread my good news, put C to the boob to finish off the job and ten minutes later I was good as new and off to enjoy my day out.


This ehow post on blocked ducts is a good thing to have in your bookmarks folder as it goes through a process that might help you to identify the sort of blockage you are dealing with.


With any luck you will never again have to refer to this stuff.   I sure hope I never do!   One way to keep pesky pore plugs at bay if you are prone to them seems to be to wash and dry your nipples after every feed.   Prevention is better than cure, and all of that.

SIDS and room sharing - the evidence

All new parents know (or at least they should) that it is recommended to keep their infants sleeping in the same room with them for the first six months of life.  This is because "research" shows that the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is lowered when your baby sleeps close to you.  Or to put it another way - when your baby is not sleeping in your room, they are at an increased risk of dying suddenly.    Scary, huh?

The problem is that many babies are noisy sleepers and keep their poor parents awake by grunting, snorting and farting through the night.   Other parents find that their baby sleeps lightly or startles easily and they end up creeping about the bedroom, dodging creaky floorboards in the blackness, afraid to cough, sneeze or even breathe wrong in case baby wakes and a terrible night's sleep for all ensues.   A loud snorer and a jumpy baby are particularly unfortunate roommates for a sleep-deprived mammy.


So it's common to see parents (generally mothers) ask on internet message boards about moving their baby to their own room before the recommended 6 months of age.   And generally, they find many parents who say they did so, to the benefit of all concerned.   But here's the thing - is it ok to move your baby just because others have done so?    And just how big is the risk to your baby if you do ship them out on their own?  


Rather than just accept that "research says...", I decided to take a closer look at some of the evidence relating to the current SIDS prevention recommendations.     A number of research papers cited by the Australian charity SIDS and Kids have shown that when a parent or other caregiver sleeps in the same room with a baby, the chance of the baby dying from  SIDS is reduced by up to 50% (1,2,3,5) when compared to babies sleeping in a separate bedroom (2,3,4).   Three studies reported that babies sleeping in separate rooms had three times the risk of SIDS (3-5),  while another study claimed that babies sleeping alone had a 10-fold risk of SIDS (2).     In fact, one of the papers also found that unsupervised day naps were equally as dangerous as solitary nightime sleeps (6).



The protective effect seems to be attributable to the parent or caregiver's presence in the room so the substitution of a baby monitor in loco parentis doesn't protect the baby in the same way.


Of course, it goes without saying that keeping your baby in your room with you is only one factor in protecting them from SIDS.   Nevertheless, it is a significant one.    It's funny how often you blindly accept guidelines because you hear that "research says....".   Having trawled through those papers,  I can say from an informed perspective that the evidence against moving your little one before the prime SIDS danger period is up is resounding.    I've had my scholars hat on this evening in order to stay objective while dealing with a highly emotive subject  - but I know that when my daughter calls for me tonight, I'll be going to her willingly and holding her a little more tenderly.

1. Mitchell EA, Thompson JMD. (1995) Co-sleeping increases the risk of SIDS, but sleeping in the parents' bedroom lowers it. In: Rognum TO. (Ed.) Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: New trends in the nineties. Scandinavian University Press: Oslo: 266-269.
2. Blair PS, Fleming PJ, Smith IJ, Ward Platt M, Young J, Nadin P, Berry PJ, Golding J and the CESDI SUDI research group. (1999) Babies sleeping with parents: case-control study of factors influencing the risk of the sudden infant death syndrome. British Medical Journal 319(7223): 1457-1462.
3. Carpenter RG, Irgens LM, Blair PS, England PD, Fleming PJ, Huber J, Jorch G, Schreuder P. (2004). Sudden unexplained infant death in 20 regions in Europe: case control study. The Lancet 363 (9404):185-91.

4. Scragg RKR, Mitchell EA, Stewart AW, Ford RPK, Taylor BJ, Hassall IB, Williams SM, Thompson JMD. (1996) Infant room-sharing and prone sleep position in sudden infant death syndrome. The Lancet 347(8993): 7–12.

5. Tappin D, Ecob R, Stat S, Brooke H. (2005) Bedsharing, roomsharing, and sudden infant death syndrome in Scotland: a case-control study. The Journal of Pediatrics 147(1): 32-37.

6.  Blair PS, Ward-Platt M, Smith IJ, Fleming PJ and the CESDI SUDI Research Group. (2006) Sudden infant death syndrome and the time of death: factors associated with night-time and day time deaths. International Journal of Epidemiology 35(6): 1563-1569.

Feel the burn and do it anyway

 

So I exercised yesterday for probably the third time since C was born.   Now, before pregnancy I was obsessed with Pilates and practiced most days.  I was pretty evangelical about it because I had taken it up after a back problem developed and persisted on and off for two years.    It was a dull nagging ache that meant I was always uncomfortable at work despite spending a considerable part of most days adjusting my chair in the several different ways it was adjustable.    I couldn't exercise and for a while couldn't even do anything that involved standing which was awful as gigs were a no-no.  Eventually I found the wonderful Aisling Harmon, a talented osteopath, who made it go away and I credit Pilates with keeping it away.    I continued to practice during pregnancy, right up until a couple of weeks before I delivered and was amazed to have no back problems at all.


One day when doing my stomach exercises, I looked down and saw a pyramid of muscle protruding from my abdomen.   You don't need to be a doctor to know that's not good.  After a bit of research, I realised it was  diastasis recti, a common condition in pregnancy where your six pack separates to allow the expansion of the womb.     This happens to most of us but I guess it goes unnoticed the majority of the time because there aren't that many of us doing Pilates roll ups at 20 weeks gone. 


I was convinced that once I had C, I would be back practicing within 6 weeks, during her morning nap.  I know those of you who have babies are having a good roll around the floor laughing at this point.  Obviously that didn't happen.    It's hard to find the time to have a pee, nigh on impossible to achieve the head space to commit yourself to a mind-body exercise like Pilates.   Anyway, a self-assessment of the damage to my stomach muscles post-natally revealed a hole where they used to be.  This is the diastasis after pregnancy.  I could fit three fingers between the left and right side which apparently isn't bad but it felt very strange indeed.    I read that time would bring it back together so I was able to vegetate with a clear conscience, knowing I shouldn't exercise in the meantime in case I strengthened the muscles in the "apart" position which would mean they would stay there.


Eventually things seemed fairly normal in the abs region and life with C had become slightly more predictable (this was probably somewhere around the 6 month mark).   During her nap one morning, I got out my Pilates mat, stuck on my dvd and started.  Or at least I tried to.  On my first roll-up, I couldn't even get my shoulders off the ground.  I was shocked.   I'd expected my mid-section to be weakened, not utterly decimated.



So what did I do?   Well, I didn't practice and practice every day until it got back to something approaching normal.   I just gave up.  I told myself it would never be back to normal anyway, so what was the point?   It wasn't until recently when C refused to go into the buggy and I realised that as a result I was getting zero exercise of any description that I made up my mind I would need to sort out my body.   I've always found exercise to be a great mood elevator and could feel myself falling into a bit of a hole for the lack of it.

Scared of trying Pilates again, I turned back to Cindy Crawford and her "A New Dimension" workout dvd.  The workout is aimed specifically at women who have recently given birth but when I first bought this seven years ago, I didn't realise.    Once I did, I didn't care, because it is one of the best total body toning dvd's I've  done.   In 40 minutes, you hit all of the usual problem areas, plus weights are used which I personally love.       So if you are looking to tone up and think you could find 40 minutes once or twice a week to do this workout at home, I would highly recommend it.
 

I'll admit that completing the workout after such a long hiatus wasn't easy but I felt like She-Ra afterwards.   The after effects were predictable considering my level of unfitness.  Walking for the next four days was a challenge and going upstairs nearly killed me.  The workout has strength exercises to tone your bum and thighs, push ups for your chest and arms,  a great toning section for abs, and weights to streamline your arms.  Each section is short and snappy so it doesn't get boring and the music is pretty decent for a workout dvd.  OK, so most of us could do without looking at a supermodel when we are trying to kick our post-birth bodies into shape, and she does look annoyingly fabulous, but if you look closely you will see a very strange distribution of fat around her hips which betray the presence of some serious control pants.   So even Cindy Crawford is not perfect. Yay!

I skip the abs section of the workout and substitute 10 minutes of Pilates core work instead, because I think it's a lot better for my back.  If you are really horrified with your mid-section and want to sort it out, I recommend this 10 Minute Solution workout.   Anyone with no kids won't understand why finding even 10 minutes a day is impossible a lot of the time, but think what a difference it would make if you could.   So stop thinking there's no point trying and just do it (cue a law suit by Nike).   You might be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Love, love, love Boutique by Jaeger

I was almost fatally trapped in Arnotts household department for about 15 minutes the other day, explaining to my husband why we couldn't afford to have curtains made-to-measure for our bedroom.  Narrowly escaping death-by-boredom, I revived myself with a wander in the fashion gallery and discovered a new label crush. 

Boutique by Jaeger is new to Arnotts and is amazing.   I just about managed to restrain myself from whipping out the credit card and splurging money I don't have and won't have for the foreseeable future on this silk tea dress.   Says it all really - curtains that would hang on my windows for likely 10 years or so were beyond our budget but I was willing to fork out twice that from my savings for a dress that would make it out of my wardrobe at most a couple of times a year because silk and toddlers are not exactly best friends.   


I spent a lot of my pre-recession earnings on my wardrobe - now the clothes hang there forlornly, wondering if they are ever going to have a chance to wow again.  The thing is though, it still gives me more pleasure to look in and see them waiting there than it would to have an exquisite pair of curtains framing the bedroom window.    It gives me hope that one day I'll be back out there living it up, drinking cocktails while draped in silk, far away from sticky chubby hands.  


But if you see me shopping for new window treatments while dressed head-to-toe in Primark, be kind and look the other way.

Why the Breast Milk Baby doll is so scary

The launch of a new toy called the Breast Milk Baby has, as anyone could have predicted, caused massive controversy on online forums.  It comes with a bib that has flowers on the nipple area and the baby doll attaches to these for a feed, then "drinks" and "burps". 


The American Christian manufacturers of the doll have created it to promote breastfeeding and claim that “the whole purpose of The Breast Milk Baby is to teach children the nurturing skills they’ll need to raise their own healthy babies in the future".


It's all a bit pointless though, because surely the only families who would buy such a doll are pro breastfeeding and this is what influences women in their feeding choices.    Anyone who has issues around breastfeeding would never buy this doll for their child so the message the manufacturers purport to be spreading is not going to get to those they are trying to target.   In any case, I know many little girls who happily mime breastfeeding their doll to copy Mammy so what's wrong with a little imagination?


Although negative comments about the doll are to be expected, some of the feeling it has generated is quite extreme and not a little bizarre.  On online forums, the doll has been called creepy, perverse and there has been much metaphorical wringing of hands with cries of "let them be kids" and "don't take away their innocence".    These sorts of comments speak to me of a deep-seated discomfort with the very idea of breastfeeding that is pervasive in our society although it's not PC to express it, so reacting to the doll is a free pass to voice these deeply held negative feelings.    Something you hear expressed often is "I've no problem with breastfeeding but...."   Well, ladies, don't worry.  Breastfeeding is unfortunately not infectious so you can happily let your daughter play with the freaky kid in number 55 and her perverted nipple bib and she could still grow up to make you proud by only using her nipples for the sexual pleasure of herself and others.


I bet the same women who think this toy will sexualise their little girls allow them to play with Barbie, who looks like she's heading off for a night of debauchery at the Playboy Mansion.   So it's ok for breasts to be part of little girls' play if they are pumped-up fetishised super-bazookas but not ok for nipples represented by pretty little flowers to enter into things.   


I understand that in a society where the threat of paedophilia is ever-present in mothers' minds that anything which relates children and sex  is scary but surely the sorts of comments above would be more justifiably directed at pop-culture rather than a harmless toy?


It frightens me that I am bringing my daughter up in a society where a tiny minority of women identify themselves as feminists, and the Playboy bunny is emblazoned on little girls' pencil cases.  And a breastfeeding doll is seen as threatening little girls' innocence.

When the wind blows (or doesn't)

There are many, many things no one tells you about babies before you have one, probably because you wouldn't believe them.   One of those is what noisy sleepers small babies are.  Lying in the dark, you could be forgiven for thinking a rhino had entered the room and eaten your baby because it's almost incomprehensible that someone whose head is smaller than your newly-inflated breast could actually make that sort of noise.

A lot of new mammies express concern about the amount of grunting, squirming and farting that goes on in the wee small hours, not least because it keeps everyone awake.    Trapped wind can be a problem with breastfed as well as formula fed babies, which I always felt as a terrible injustice!    Before you run out for infacol, or make arrangements to bootleg some gripe water, consider baby massage.   It's a lovely activity for you and your baby and has lots of health benefits.  If you can afford classes, which generally cost around €120 for a 4 or 5 week course, then they are a great way to build confidence with the techniques, get a full understanding of the benefits and also to meet other mothers.    However, with a small baby, participation in the class can be a bit hit-and-miss as I found out when I took my 2 month old, who didn't appreciate the change to her routine and spent every class except the final one either feeding, protesting or asleep on my shoulder.

Have a look at these videos for a natural way to release that troublesome trapped gas using massage.  I found the first one worked particularly well for us, especially if done at every nappy change. 

There's lots more of this sort of thing on youtube.    Try it - it could be a solution for a (somewhat) better night's sleep for everyone.

Enough of the breast-beating

You may have seen a segment on TV3 Midday on Wednesday where a recent article that claimed breastfed babies are more intelligent was heavily criticised.  I expected this piece was going to be reactionary and anti-breastfeeding as one of the panelists was Aileen Hickie, writer of an article entitled "Is Breastfeeding Really Best?" a number of months ago.  Quite why I feel the need to seek out and watch stuff that is guaranteed to get my blood boiling is a mystery to me,  but afterwards when I'd calmed to a gentle simmer, I thought of the long-term implications this sort of thing has on the health of the nation.  It seems that every time a study points to the benefits of breastfeeding, the media commentary around it involves such an outpouring of negativity that it probably turns more women off than on.    And this is very bad news for the HSE.


Ireland has one of the lowest rates of breastfeeding in the world.  We also have some of the highest rates of obesity, breast and ovarian cancer, heart attacks, osteoporosis and asthma (4th highest in the world!).  Breastfeeding provides protection against all of these illnesses, and more, via benefits to the mother or baby.    It obviously makes sense for there to be a national strategy to increase breastfeeding rates.  But this strategy is not backed up by the resources to make it happen and the efforts of those who are implementing policy are often falling woefully short of expectations.   Instead, women who don't want to breastfeed feel it is pushed at them by midwives while those who need help to get breastfeeding established often find it's not forthcoming because the post-natal wards are too busy or the advice they get is different each day depending on who is on duty.    Some public health nurses don't seem to be aware of current best practice around breastfeeding and are peddling misinformation that could damage a successful breastfeeding relationship.    Yes, there are wonderful midwives and nurses out there doing a great job but a lot of women seem to be angry about their experiences around feeding and this contributes to a perceived breast vs bottle divide which makes no sense in a country where breastfeeding rates to one year are so embarrassingly tiny that almost every mother will end up giving her baby formula at some stage anyway.

As things currently stand, the only way that breastfeeding rates will increase is through peer-to-peer support of those who want to breastfeed via organisations such as Cuidiu, La Leche League and Friends of Breastfeeding.   Everyone who breastfeeds successfully knows that it is up to us to promote it, because national policy alone isn't enough and in any case, we all need to contribute to creating a breastfeeding culture.  This is why we react against the likes of Aileen Hickie who casually frightens women on daytime television by talking about how trying unsuccessfully to breastfeed leads to post-natal depression.     She then views the backlash against such comments as militantism by what she calls the breastfeeding mafia.  Defending breastfeeding is not about bashing those who formula feed their babies, it is about trying to encourage those who might breastfeed in the future.  Promoting breastfeeding is not done to make anyone feel guilty, but the health benefits are proven and mothers-to-be need to know about them.  Improving our breastfeeding rates would impact on the incidence of the serious illnesses mentioned above and many more besides. 


Maybe,one day,  if  the country invests wisely in our long term health by requiring PHNs and midwives to regularly take refresher courses to update both their breastfeeding knowledge and their people skills, we can all be friends again.   Breastfeeding rates will soar and the nation will be slim and wheeze free.


Well, a girl can dream......!

What's the deal with Raspberry Leaf Tea?

If you go past your due date, and most of us do on our first babies, you will likely be told by someone to drink raspberry leaf tea to bring on your labour.   Although it's widely believed that this is what the tea should be used for, it is in fact a misconception. 


Raspberry leaf tea does however have its uses in pregnancy and birth - it has been used by the native americans for thousands of years as a labour aid.   It contains an alkaloid called fragine, which is said to tone the uterus and strengthen it to make the contractions more efficient.    There has been very little research done on the effects of the tea but a small scale study carried out by midwives in Australia in 2000 found that taking raspberry leaf tea in either leaf or capsule form shortened the second stage of labour by 10 minutes.  Having drunk this tea by the bucketload for 6 weeks or so, I can categorically say that if this were the only benefit it would not be worth it.   What tasted mildly pleasant to me in the beginning had turned to ashes in my mouth after cup number 106 or so.

However, the study also found that there was a significantly lower rate of assisted deliveries, artificial membrane rupture and caesarean section in the group who were taking the tea.    All good news for those hoping to make it through labour with as little physical trauma as possible.   Some practitioners maintain that there is a risk of premature labour or miscarriage if the tea is taken in early pregnancy but there is no research to support or contradict this claim.  The Australian study showed no side effects in those who began using the tea from 32 weeks.

So if you are 32 weeks or more into your pregnancy, you can start drinking 3 or 4 cups of raspberry leaf tea per day or take two 300mg  capsules three times a day with each meal.   It's certainly worth a shot. For the record, the second stage of labour for me was around 50 minutes which wasn't bad for a first baby.  And thankfully no assistance was required.

Keeping it under wraps....

One thing I hadn't given a huge amount of thought to was how I was going to dress when pregnant (and huge).  I have a fairly extensive wardrobe - it extends to all three bedrooms in my house!- so looking somewhat stylish while expanding was important to me.  Looking back, I think I expected to still wear my normal clothes until one day a little bump would pop out and I'd switch to maternity clothes.  If only it were that simple.


Miranda Kerr and Giselle Bundchen may have stayed looking and feeling super for 9 months but for most of us, pregnancy is not a time that we feel we look our best, particularly at the beginning and the end.   It seemed like the minute I found out I was pregnant, my flat belly disappeared under a layer of wobble.  I didn't particularly care from a vanity point of view but practically it was a pain.  It meant that I couldn't fit in to any of my jeans without doing myself an injury.  I was on holidays from weeks 6 to 8 of my pregnancy and had to buy shorts in the next size up.  And walking around with what feels like several spare tyres makes you sure that absolutely everyone must "know".


So what to do if the waistline starts to expand from the minute you see those 2 pink lines?   One solution is to wear a belly belt.

 

You can buy a belly belt "kit", which is a pack of two belly belts (one for button up garments and one for those with zips)  plus fabric panels in white, black and denim to bridge the ever-growing gap.  The pack retails at around €17.   Good value for money when you consider that you shouldn't have to buy any new jeans or skirts until you are into full-on maternity wear, at around 4 months into your pregnancy. They have the added advantage that, because you are wearing your "normal" clothes, it is easier to keep your pregnancy a secret in the first trimester. Hook up your favourite jeans, pair with an on-trend and budget friendly blouse from Penney's and you're good to go!

You can buy a Belly Belt kit, plus other maternity essentials from OnceBorn.com, an Irish based online store. Happy shopping!

About me

There I was, having the life of Riley......eating out in restaurants a couple of times a week, drinking and dancing at will, melting the credit card in BT of a Saturday.   Then double whammy - I got pregnant and the recession swallowed my job.  Now it's tea with Jeremy Kyle, a glass of Mammy's special medicine accompanied by a naughty single cigarette in the back garden at 7.30pm and a furtive root in Penney's when the boss is asleep in the buggy.


I want to spread the word that birth doesn't have to be the tendon-popping screamathon you see on both factual and fictional television programmes.   And that breastfeeding is not just for hairy-legged hippies (though admittedly I have far fewer dates with the razor these days) and is actually the world's best-kept weight loss secret.  And most importantly that it is possible to keep the me in Mammy and look halfway stylish, even though you may have to accessorise with burp cloths by day.  A couple of cocktails usually help by night.